


Break My Fall

by Walker_August



Category: Mission: Impossible, Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Chronic Illness, Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Reader-Insert, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 10:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17445440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walker_August/pseuds/Walker_August
Summary: August Walker x reader with the prompt:"Could you write an august walker x reader where reader is a small, rather delicate woman who gets sick often and is overall the physical opposite of him?  And she’s sick in bed and he’s managed to take some time to take care of her?"





	Break My Fall

You’d been ill for so long now that you couldn’t remember what it felt like to be fine. The illness was one thing; the constant fatigue, feeling fragile, helpless, cold and faint every time you move. But the depression that came with it, after a while, that had taken hold of you and turned you in to half the person you used to be, that was even worse. You just want things to go back to how they used to be what feels like long ago. You’re sick of the endless doctors visits, the useless meds that they put you on that only make you feel numb, sick of being sick.

When August had gone away a few weeks, you’d been going through an ok period – working at least, able to get up and go out even if it made you feel so tired and uncomfortable to do. But in the short weeks he’d been done, you’d been put on sick leave and then you’d started to struggle with leaving the house. Now you barely get out of bed. It’s not because August left, that just how the bouts of it come and go, but his warmth and safety did help. Not being able to admit to anyone, even your boyfriend, how bad things had gotten you instead shut yourself away and let it take over; the fear and struggle and self loathing.

You’re sleeping wrapped under every blanket you own when he comes home. Immediately he feels something must be wrong, usually if you’re in when he gets home you’ve already jumped on him at this point. He finds you in the bedroom and watches from the doorway as you toss and turn, restless but exhausted. You wake briefly when he comes in to the room but you’re certain it must be a fever dream and soon drift back off again, the frown on his face haunting you as you dream.

When you come to in the evening you realise you’re not freezing cold for the first time in ages, and you feel the weight of him on the bed next to you, his arms around you pulling you to his chest. He’s awake, curled up around you. He smiles when you turn to face him, but it only lasts for a moment. You’re so small compared to him, you always were but he doesn’t fail to notice just how much smaller you are in his arms now.

“Hi” you whisper, hand cupping his cheek as you lean in for a kiss. He’s so gentle and hesitant even kissing you for the first time in weeks, like he’s worried you’ll shatter before him if he gives too much. He breaks the kiss first and there’s that frown again.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he chides “I gave you that number for a reason”.

You lour at his accusatory tone. You don’t want to upset him, this is what you were worried about, because the truth is you didn’t want to be a burden to him or anyone else.

“I’m sorry I just didn’t- I’m fine” you lie, untangling yourself from him and moving to sit up – even that small shift enough to make you feel light headed.

“Don’t lie to me.” He doesn’t mean for the words to come out like they do, disappointed, and he regrets them the moment they’re spoken as he watches you and your eyes brim with tears.

“August please don’t. I can’t deal with you being mad at me. I can’t deal with anything right now, it hurts too much” in your head you sound whiny, pathetic. Your lower lip quivers and you hide your face in your hands.

“I’m sorry. I’m not mad, just worried about you” he takes your hands away from your face and holds them, kissing you on the lips then your forehead when you look up at him “I love you, I missed you”.

You don’t mean to start crying but you can’t help it. You haven’t cried in months but it’s like now he’s here all your pent up emotions come spilling out of you. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls you to him and holds you. Your head against his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears.

“Shhh. It’s ok. You’ll get through this, I promise” his voice is soothing and although it makes you feel less out of place, less fuzzy, it does little to quell the feeling that this is never going to get better, that the illness is always going to be there and he isn’t.

“I’m glad you’re here. Why is everything always easier when you’re with me?” you murmur, drying your eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie that you’ve been wearing. “How long do I have you for?” you ask, afraid to hear the answer. He strokes your back as your sobs grow quieter.

“I’m not going anywhere, love. Not until you feel stronger. I’ve got six weeks of leave to take, and that’s six weeks to help you and be with you. I’m staying by your side.” Those are the words that calm you, that make some flicker of hope light up deep within you. With him by your side, maybe there’s a way to get through the worst of it – even if it’s temporary, you’ll take it. It has deeper meaning too for you, he’s not going to walk away when things get worse. He’s here for the good and the bad as much as he can be.

“I feel like I’ve been falling through a void, a blank space with no end in sight” you explain as best you can “but like suddenly these strong hands have reached out to me, holding me up. I know there’s no easy fix to this, that you can’t chase all my problems away and that’s fine. But thank you for caring enough to stay” you let the stray tears fall, hoping your words make some sense to him. He just nods, pulls you close again and kisses the top of your head.

“I’ve got you. I’ll always catch you”


End file.
